Week 27: You're ready

Bible Study on Monday nights is always tremendously good for me. It's usually exactly what I need- to straighten out theological concerns, get some quality worship time, and just get the word of God. It's a bit of a drive back home and I often use that time to talk with God, think, just let my mind open up.
This past Monday evening I was headed home on dark route 20, listening to Sugarland (not especially Christian, although thought inspiring music- for me at least) and was praying about my being ready for various kinds of relationships (friendship, romantic, marital, parental, etc) after having talked about them/talked with married friends who are parents at bible study about the different places we are in our lives. I'd been praying for a long time about what kind of relationships I should have with people in my life, how to do right by the people I was in various types of relationships with, and what other relationships I was ready to enter into throughout my 70 weeks. It's no secret that I have not really been in a relationship for a long time- over three years now. Options arose from time to time, but it was never a person I felt I could love as they deserved to be loved, or I was simply not ready. Especially recently, I've felt that I was simply not in a place with God to enter into a relationship and in a way, I've become very comfortable in that place. I have an excuse not to put myself out there, an easy (and very legitimate) reason for being single. I suppose it only becomes a bad excuse, and an illegitimate excuse when God tells me I'm ready to be in a relationship. Well, I didn't expect that coming for over a year as I'm convicted to leave where I am, so I don't see God putting me in a relationship with someone here (although who am I to judge his plans?)
So while driving, praying, and talking with God last Monday, shortly after having agonized over finally posting "week 24: holes"- explaining my work in killing an idol and basically putting it out there for everyone to see (so there's no going back- which I was very tempted to do- never admit to it, so I could easily hide in the shelter of that idol again if there were something left in it that could be revived), God, out of nowhere, seemed to tell me I was ready for a relationship. Not necessarily that the time was right, that there was a person currently in my life that I should enter into a relationship with, but that I, personally, was in a place personally/with my relationships with others, and in my walk with God, where I could enter into a relationship. I didn't really believe Him, I don't know that I'm ready (although I don't foresee any opportunities to test that out soon), perhaps I'm just very comfortable in my excuse that, apparently, is no longer valid. I suppose praying for 70 days- asking for things, asking for answers to questions, is a dangerous thing because, God will likely actually answer your prayers. And I think, a majority of the time, I'm not ready for the answers to the prayers I pray.
But this is a good, although confusing, and yet interesting thing: God telling me I was ready for a relationship a day after I finally told the world about my idolatry- in a way, a final step in it's death.